I want to share something with you, because I know so many women (and men too!) struggle with this, although if you're super-confident and know you're beautiful, this probably won't interest you. If however you lack confidence, look to others to tell you you're beautiful, and even then you don't believe it, or you sabotage your body & mind and don't realise why you keep yourself prisoner in it, or you know someone who does, then you might want to stick around.
Since I was a young girl, I have always been different, I think it has a lot to do with growing up too fast... I was never one of the popular kids at school, but I had a few select friends. I was never very academically clever, but I wasn't dumb either. Approaching my teenage years, I never felt attractive, and would accept the advances of boys without being too picky about whether they were right or wrong for me.
I left home and school at 16, and I continued to feel I was someone who would need to settle for what I could get when it came to relationships, I would throw myself into working because I could control my career well, but sadly dated more of the wrong guys.
When I was 23 I moved to Egypt, I needed time alone, time away, I needed to find myself, and I did. I found Michelle, and for the first time, I liked her. I started to feel better about myself, and the more comfortable I was alone, and not looking for anyone's validation, the happier I became. I started my business, did what I wanted, and life was good. I felt free.
In very unusual circumstances, and being told I was infertile, I became pregnant unexpectedly outside of a formal relationship, and then my world changed again... It took me away from myself again, and into a world dedicated to my online business and motherhood, where as time went by and 3 children later, I looked in the mirror and didn't recognise the person in front of me.
I was lost under excess weight and lack of care for myself, I realised I hadn't been to get a haircut in 3 years, and I hadn't even noticed... I lived under the myth that it didn't matter what I was like on the outside, it's what's inside that matters - but I was confusing this... how you feel about the outside, comes from within, it's all connected.
I took the decision that I would lose the weight, over 80 lbs, I got braces to straighten my teeth, I would start to take care of myself again, learn to like myself, and commit to changing what I didn't like, and I want to share with you the result of this...
First of all, I am okay with who I am, keeping it real here - I have cellulite, horrible stretch marks over my stomach from carrying my babies, various other flaws, and it's okay. I have aged 11 years since getting pregnant, but to me, I look and feel better now than I did 5 years ago. I don't give a s**t what people think of the outside of me (really, I'm not just saying that, it took a long time to get to that point of not comparing myself to others), I want the people around me to like the person, not the profile, but I do care now about what 'I' think of me... and I have started to notice how people in the world around me are responding differently towards me now because of this.
I walk different, I talk different, I make different decisions, I am generally different, and that can be good, and it can be scary, because familiar things around you can change because of it. But I've found myself again, and that's the ultimate.
I also do things that I would never have done before, and that has also opened up new opportunities for me, which otherwise wouldn't have presented themselves. Think about it - what are you missing out on by being unhappy in your skin?
I'm in Georgia right now, alone, and when I would travel alone before, I would withdraw, close myself off - now I'm open. I go out, smile at people, they chat with me, I get attention without seeking it, I notice people's energy with me and it's different to how it was before. I notice the way I feel, impacts the way they feel, and then one day I realised, if I feel better, then I can help other people feel better without actually trying... That's trippy...
My point is - you can be fat or thin, you can be pretty or ugly, you can be confident or shy, you can be nice or nasty, everything is neutral, I nor anyone else can tell you what you are, because YOU decide how you see yourself - but if there's one thing I have learnt, first-hand, without any shadow of a doubt is this...
However you feel about yourself, that's how others will respond in a mirror effect. I turn 37 this month, and I'm the same person, in the same skin, but I have seen and felt from one extreme to the other over the years, I've felt ugly and I've felt attractive, and whatever I'm feeling, is ALWAYS what I'm receiving - so I encourage you, either love & accept yourself the way you are, or do something about it if you don't. Because this will impact your business, relationships, health and happiness more than you realise.
My journey was one which involved a lot of discovery, and there was no single thing that I did to change me, it was a combination of things, some of them quite surprising - If you'd like me to do a webinar about this to answer your questions or discuss more in-depth, reply with a comment, let me know!
Stay beautiful ;-)